Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Grab a seat

I have in the past, many times, usually to myself, ranted about the price tags attached to certain things. I realize that there is a certain amount of fogey vibe that goes along with bitching about things being expensive, but I feel that certain things are simply unjustifiably priced. A perfect for instance, in my mind, is the Humanscale chair. Humanscale offers all manner of types of chairs and configurations of each type. What they do not offer, is any rational justification for the prices they charge for their products which range from bottom-end ~$200 to top-end ~$1300.

I'll put it this way. If I spend $1300 on a chair I should be able to die a happy man for having the opportunity to sit in it. A chair that costs $1300 should be crafted from unknown materials out of Area 51, upholstered with the hide of the Loch Ness monster, and padded with the down from the goose that lays golden eggs. It should survive nuclear holocaust. I would expect to experience the rapture the moment my ass touched the seat because my cheeks would be resting on the pursed lips of God. The civilization of intelligent cockroaches that survive us on this planet should find these chairs and be able to determine why we ultimately failed as species.

I cannot begin to fathom how it can be said that a new desk chair could be objectively valued at $1300. Was it hand carved from a single piece of petrified wood that somehow survived millions of years of geologic turmoil only to be ripped from the ground and shaved and sliced to meet some artists rendition of the contour of the perfect human rear? No. It was, as the site describes it, "designed by legendary industrial designer Niels Diffrient, who is considered by many to be the world’s greatest chair designer."

Really? World’s greatest chair designer? Is that anything like 'world's greatest dad', or 'world's greatest coach'. Who gives a fuck if they were designed by Leonardo da Vinci or Bob from accounting? They're manufactured on a god damned assembly line like every other mass produced 'luxury' item. If the Venus di Milo had arms and cupped hands for a seat I could see paying $1300 for that. It would be a work of art. An irreplaceable one at that. But I wouldn't sit in it. It would be a conversation piece that would collect dust and eventually be forgotten and unappreciated. Much like the Humanscale chair. It shall pass on to the ages. An aluminum and plastic lament to the wanton consumerism and absurdest quest for style that spawned it.


At 9:52 AM, Blogger Chris said...

[ACHIEVEMENT] Dennis Miller clone

At 11:27 AM, Blogger Dick.Bill said...

Gonna disagree with the Dennis Miller thing. Miller is a quipper not a ranter. Seinfeld is more of a ranter than Miller.

Weak sauce I say, sir.


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