Sunday, April 01, 2007

About Time


It IS about time. This post that is.

It's strange how something that is so subjective, arbitrary, and yes, fleeting, can consume us so. Time is nothing more than a concept that simplifies entropic decay.(I realize that that's somewhat redundant) We watch the clock tick by our days. Either in horror at the rapidity of it's pace, or in disgust at the slowness. Hardly ever are we content to exist outside of time. Our society as well as our mortality bring us to focus more on the quantity of the time that we spend, rather than the quality of that upon which we spend it. So many adages prove to enforce this. "Time flies when you're having fun", "A watched pot never boils" are a few examples.

I'm as guilty as the next person of this. I ignore the passage of time when it's inconvenient for me to take it into consideration, yet it's difficult not to mourn it's passage regardless. We regret spending time doing what we want, and yet dread spending time doing what we have to. There are certainly periods that I can name in my life that I feel could have been much better spent. But, unfortunately, buyers remorse of this type cannot be assuaged be merely making more to spend.

We're all given a limited credit line, and none of us can know when our card's going to get revoked. Some people jealously guard their time, while others give it away freely. Both feel that they have the better system. Again, I say it's all subjective. Those that give their time to others, whether it be for volunteering for a cause, or just using time to help a friend, they come away with something. They've invested their limited allotment in something no more tangible, but every bit as real. Those that spend their time purely on their own self-indulgence and aggrandizement gain something as well, but the value of it can only be measured by their satisfaction in it. Often, I've found these people to be less satisfied in what they reap. But who am I to say. I have regrets and doubts and have questioned where I've been and where I'm going and why every bit as much as anyone. My only insight is, try and find something in every day, every hour, that brings you joy or enlightenment. Strive to learn and grow to know yourself all you can. The better you know who you are, and what you want, the more fruitfully you will be able to spend this precious resource called life.

All so well worded drivel and pseudo-philosophy, and all so dreadfully true. Nothing that someone else hasn't said before in different words. But in the writing and constructing of these words I've found a certain peace. Onward then. The best is always yet to come.

This post is as much about how I'm feeling as it is an apology. For all those that I have neglected, and for all those that I will neglect in the future, please forgive me. My time here, as yours, is limited, and I'm trying not to spend it all in one place.



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