Thursday, August 04, 2005

True Romance

I'll admit that most people would probably categorize me as stereotypically hopeless when it comes to romance. Though I feel that this is an unfair, if altogether understandable, misapprehension. My idea of romance is more attuned to that of the sedate retired couple holding hands in their respective rocking-chairs. Easy. I haven't had the opportunity to discuss at length my romantic tendencies for a couple of reasons. First of all, I feel sort of silly describing them, and second of all, I don't really feel obligated in any way to justify myself in this regard. But just this once I'm going to go ahead and describe them in detail as I feel it would make an interesting story.
The only time I've had the chance to set my special brand of romance into effect, it didn't have the intended results. I was in a relationship with a woman for close to five years, wherein I tried my damnedest to recruit a follower of my philosophy, and instead drove her to leave me for someone that happened to seem more exciting and dynamic. That certainly wasn't the only telling point that made her decide to drop me like a bad habit, but I feel it was towards the top of a long list. I can't really blame her for feeling that way. I'll be the first to admit I can be boring at times. But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.
First off, something that I've said many times and I'll try to just touch on rather than expound upon, I don't believe in marriage. While I very much believe in long-term monogamous relationships, I feel that the culmination of them shouldn't need to be an expensive party including clergy, lots of alcohol and legal documentation. That formula can be used many ways, and very few of them don't end up in disaster. If you don't feel permanent in a relationship, a photo album moment and a slip of paper isn't going to help.
Secondly, I don't want to have children or be responsible for raising them. This is something else I've discussed at length, so I don't feel it necessary to really go into it.
Another thing, the reason I will never live up to the fairy tale dreams of some women, I have a tendency to eschew the giving of love-letters and flowers, and focus instead on practical day-to-day things that a lot of people would never think of or notice. My idea of romance is making sure that whomever I'm with always has whatever it is that they want all the time. If they are a soda drinker, I'll notice when they're down to their last one and run to the store for more without being asked or telling them. If they're a gamer and there's a new game out I know they'll want to play, I'll buy it and install it on the computer before they can suggest it. Little things. Little things that should add up to show that I love them and want nothing more than for them to be happy. Unfortunately, it is the tendency of almost everyone to grow accustom to these things, and be more apt to notice the lack of heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and love poems.
The last major difference of opinion I have with contemporary sentiment regarding romance is that two of the most romantic outings to me are shopping and laundry. Most people go in for the clandestine camping trip or the overnight stay at a nice bed and breakfast. And while I can appreciate these things as well, give me a shopping cart or a laundry basket and I'm in love. Nothing spells long term commitment to me like two people that can wander through a department or grocery store together, and ENJOY it. And I don't think that there is anything more blissfully domestic than working together doing laundry, playing cards or sitting close reading a book waiting for the next load. These are the things that I think of when I hear the term "romance." And that's why I'm likely doomed to dissatisfy women right and left, and in the long run get myself black-listed in everyone's day planners.


At 12:31 PM, Blogger Leah said...

I think you underestimate yourself and women everywhere... I for one find everything you described perfect.... a dozen roses die in a couple of days.. but a good game will always be there when you come back... and a finished load of laundry will free up time to play it =)

At 4:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reading your post makes me think of a country song by Tim McGraw. In fact I believe we listened to this song together. It talks about sitting on the front porch swing with a loved one and watching the rewards of your love grow. I know how much you enjoy country :)Rachel


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